Better Late Than Nowhere: A Moving Units Listening “Party”

Hi. I was scared to write this album review because my thoughts were not so nice, so I’ll try to be as gentle as possible. Sorry.

This is the first and only time I’ve heard this album (sorry to bite your Rapid Fire Record Reviews, Joshua Isaac Finch). It wasn’t totally real, though, since the tracklist seemed out-of-order from what Wikipedia reports to everyone reading the page for Dangerous Dreams. I don’t think I would have been able to tell the difference, except when Lead Singer told the listening party that they played a new tune (during the middle of the album). Did they even do an encore? The lightmasters made the room brighter to make people leave, and it worked. I know I did because that was all the dance punk I could take in one night.

I do actually love dance punk. I don’t even mind that all of the bands in this genre are angular, use the word “radio,” and look sexy. I think Lead Singer tried to be the most obvious target for courting, but I was busy imagining putting my tits on Bassist’s tits. He has that wonderful type of body that is a bit fluffy, but it’s actually not too apparent until you see the slight outline of the breasts in the shirt and your dick demands increased bloodflow.

The music is technically proficient. It may be a bit like chomping on hecka kiwis and grapes for an hour straight (maybe a short break for technical adjustment), but at least it’s much better than the eating-uncooked-oatmeal-in-the-desert-while-reading-state-laws that is Franz Ferdinand. Speaking of, Cooper Wilt subscribed to the zeitgeist too hard: look at how dated his part seems! Same with Leo and Moving Units, too (but it makes sense: bratty mid-2000s Foundation am rail chomper (he’s better now, though simply an evolved version)). That’s where Shimizu did it right with Gang of Four, and was therefore picked by Ludacrooks as one of the Classics.

The previous band (The Shifts) that played their live songs prior was as good as spaghetti, though I admit that I was turned off by the helmet hair enough to sit down while they performed most of their own music. I never had a chance to see the first group of musicians since I was adamant about collecting my cereal so I wouldn’t have a shitty breakfast.

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